Trust

There are a few wise men from the past hundred years I would liked to have met, three that come to mind right away, C.S. Lewis, Jim Elliot, and Oswald Chambers. Tonight, as I was getting ready to go to bed, I read June 1st from My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers. Yesterday in Sunday school we talked about trusting and following God in the little and big things, one of the many verses we looked at was Proverbs 16:9
"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps."

Here is one paragraph from June 1st:
"It is much easier to do something than to trust in God; we see the activity and mistake panic for inspiration. That is why we see so few fellow workers with God, yet so many people working for God. We would much rather work for God than believe in Him. Do I really believe that God will do in me what I cannot do? The degree of hopelessness I have for others comes from never realizing that God has done anything for me. Is my own personal experience such a wonderful realization of God’s power and might that I can never have a sense of hopelessness for anyone else I see? Has any spiritual work been accomplished in me at all? The degree of panic activity in my life is equal to the degree of my lack of personal spiritual experience."

hmm....so much in this little paragraph, what jumps out at me is "it is much easier to do something than to trust in God" and "The degree of hopelessness I have for others comes from never realizing that God has done anything for me."
trusting and realizing/acknowledging what God does for us are not foreign ideas or hard concepts to grasp, but often not easy to put into practice. In a time when Iwant to know what the see the big picture, I want to see past the next little step God has for me, this is a good reminder, it is much better to live and serve, here and now, than to worry about things a year or two or ten from now. Well, unfortunately, that's all for now, maybe we'll revisit Oswald's June 1st in the near future.

Who would've thought?

Right now I find myself thinking, who would've thought that I would be living in Fort Worth right now. Who would've thought I'd be here and not in Africa or some other country across the globe. But, I find myself here, I think, in the exact place God wants me to be, at least for right now.

The past few months were filled with possibilties of job opportunities, one that I really wanted and didn't get, one that I got and didn't really want, and the one that I ended up with: Catholic Charities in Fort Worth, working with refugee minors. After more than six months of moving and new jobs and new places and more moving etc...I feel like I am finally settling in, a feeling I never really had when I was in Dallas. Why? I don't really know, maybe because of the place I lived, or the job I had, or just because I really knew I wasn't going to be there very long.

I've been at Catholic Charities for two weeks now, so far, it's been going well. I pray my usual, "please let my boss look past my forgetfulness and clumsiness and see my dedication and good attitude."...kidding...kind of. I'm pretty sure I'm ADHD, so, I'll just say, sitting at a quiet cubicle for hours, being asked to remember lots of little tiny details may not be my forte, my solution, lots and lots of post it notes and an ocassional dab of whiteout. For my next job, I think I'd like to work outside....or just think, philosophize about life....preferably outside.

Lets see....news?? I bought a couch, I'm living in an apartment for the next year. I'm currently searching for a church. A group from First Baptist Kaufman is starting a church here in Fort Worth, I think I'm going to check that out! I've been to a couple other churches so far, one that I really liked, so we'll see what happens.

On a similar note....maybe slightly offensive note, I find people in Fort Worth to be more down to earth than people in Dallas, or maybe just the ones I've met. Maybe I'm just thinking this because of a book I recently read, "The Dallas Womens Guide to Gold Digging with Pride." Absolutely hilarious, the best $3 half price book purchase I've ever made.

well, it's my bedtime. Hopefully I'll write something more interesting soon. Some work anecdotes, new Fort Worth Adventures!

If i tweeted I would tweet this, but I don't, so I put it in a blog.

Facebook, IM, Blog, Skype, Text Message, Email, Cellphone. I see no need whatsoever for twitter. There are so many forms of communication, why do we need one more? But, sometimes I do find myself thinking, "if I had twitter, this is what I would tweet". Yesterday I found myself in this exact situation, sitting at Starbucks at a table by myself when all of a sudden I was thrown in to a situation that most definitely needed to be tweeted or shared with someone, anyone. So what did I do? I put it on facebook, and then later thought, wow, I sunk to THAT level, putting something not important whatsoever on facebook.

So, here are some things that I would tweet if I had twitter, but I dont. And after you read them, I'm sure you'll be glad I don't have tweet.

Yesterdays "tweets"

Browsing books at Barnes and Noble on a weekday, meeting a friend for lunch, sitting in the park, perfection.

Sitting at Starbucks searching for apartments in Fort Worth. Anybody know of any good apartments in fort worth?

AHHH My boss just walked into starbucks and sat at my table, I did NOT go to work today. I am so unlucky!! (for any curious future employers, I did give notice I would not be at work, but still felt kind of like I got busted)

If I get pulled over for speeding can I ask to be put in jail for a few days to avoid lunch duty at work?

Who decides who gets to be on reality show? I think I could win the amazing race, who wants to be my partner?

Other states should be jealous of Texas during Spring time....and all other times as well.

Wants to read a good book, suggestions?

YAY!! microbiology test over! probably failed, but over! Unknown bacteria discovered, E.coli!

S-U-C-C-E-S-S Thats the way we spell success!!

There ya have it. a few random thoughts, and here, a pic I would have tweeted too. but this is totally worth it! A beautiful afternoon in Independence, TX.

Sunrise

This morning, as I was driving to work, I noticed something that I do not often notice, and really, do not often see....the sunrise. I only caught a glimpse of the sunrise, I was driving west, into Dallas and I saw it in my rear view mirror. It was a beautiful sunrise, and a lovely, necessary surprise early on a Tuesday morning.

There are not many sunrises I can think of in my life that I have thought, wow, that is a beautiful sunrise, I will remember this forever. There are various reasons for this. The sun rises in the morning, very early in the morning. There have not been very many times in my life, until the past couple months when I was awake, coherent, and looking at the sky when the sun was rising. Even during the past couple months, I am usually too distracted because I'm running late, or too annoyed at the fact that I have to wake up so early to notice the sun rising in my rear view mirror. The rear view mirror is small, and only catches the right part of the sky at certain moments during the drive when it is not being blocked by buildings or cars or trees.

Some nights during my life I have, like many others I'm sure, especially MK's, usually at some kind of conference, stayed up all night long with friends, in hopes of seeing the sunrise. I have never, in any of these situations actually seen a sunrise.

Something that I have seen many times and absolutely love seeing, no matter what....sunsets. I have never seen a bad sunset, I'm not sure that I've ever seen a sunset and thought, wow, I wish I were not awake right now, or missed the sunset because I was too busy. And my theory, one is able to see sunsets more clearly and more often than sunrises.

All of this talk of sunrises and sunsets to say, I was thinking, in my kind of cheesy mind, sunrises are like new experiences, new possibilities, awkward meet and greets, the first day of class, those moments when you don't know what the day has to bring. Sunsets are like closing ceremonies, finales, despedidas after years of friendship, the sense of accomplishment at the end of a productive, good day, or the sense of relief at the end of a not so good day.

Right now, I'm at about 5 o clock in the morning and the sunrise is coming. I'm not sure what the next few months have in store, and especially, what I will be doing in about 3 months. But for some reason, seeing that sunrise this morning, gave me a little bit of peace, a little bit of confidence, its OK if I'm not sure right now, and even though I'm extremely stressed out and exhausted most of the time, this is just the beginning. That might sound bad, but I don't mean, "this is just the beginning" in a bad way. I mean it in a good way, there are good things to come.

The day is young. Getting something started is always harder than keeping it going, or looking back at it after its done. Getting things going when you don't know what is really going on, or what you will be doing exactly is even more difficult, but as I have seen in the past, God works things out, and the day ends with a beautiful, relaxing sunset to celebrate, soak in, and reflect on.

a new semester

It's been quite a while since my last update. I guess, kind of a lot has happened, but kind of not a whole lot at all. And this will be a quick little post because I need to keep studying for my nutrition test.
I think I'm just going to make a list :-) just because

1. I started taking my pre reqs for nursing school in January. I'm taking nutrition, developmental psychology and microbiology.....I am enjoying the classes and I'm learning a lot, but it's definitely different than the poli sci and philosophy classes I took at Baylor. Unfortunately you can't really argue your way through a microbiology test.

2. I'm still working at the Elementary school in Dallas and trying to figure out what I'll be doing next year. It is rarely boring and the kids are always up to something, or have something funny to say or ask. Today one of the forth grade girls quietly passed a piece of gum to me at the end of math class, trying to hide it from the substitute teacher. I just said thanks and took it, and then thought to myself, wait, kids can't have gum at school. and then thought, was my breath that bad that she had to risk getting in trouble to offer me a piece of gum? Oh, well I really had wanted a piece of gum all morning.

3. I've moved back in with my parents in Kaufman. I've been commuting to Dallas everyday. The drive is pretty far but at least I'm sleeping at night and not being woken up by transvestite neighbors tromping around in the middle of the night, or barking dogs early in the morning. I did have a little freak out moment when I went to church with my parents on Sunday and five people in a row exclaimed, you're back in Kaufman! Are you back for good? And I didn't know how to respond, yes...no....I feel like I should answer, "I work in Dallas, hang out in Dallas, have an apartment in Dallas, study in Dallas, occasionally in Terrell, I spend between 2-5 waking hours a day in Kaufman, I'm not sure where I live." I've spend my whole life not knowing where my "home" was, and now I cant even figure out were I live.

4. Lets see....exciting news....it snowed on Thursday! Proper snow!(as the Scots would say) We had about a foot of snow on the ground, I guess for people reading this, that isn't news, because apparently it snowed in every state except Hawaii, so what is that, snow in like 57 states? ;-)
I made a snowman with my mom and dad. I had never made a life size, proper snowman before. We used a carrot for his mouth and everything. My dad even got out the ruler and smoothed it all out and made sure it was smooth and round.

5. Other news.....Since my last post I've been pulled over once and had one little fender bender, which I still believe was not my fault. My poor car.

6. One thing that I always appreciate: bathroom stalls with places to hang or place your belongings, best combination ever: a restroom stall with a place to hang your purse and a ledge to place books or other belongings on.

7. Something that slightly bothers me: when you go to weather.com to the location search box it says, "Enter ZIP, city or place(e.g. Disney World)." Every time I see that I wonder, how many people actually need to know the weather at Disney world. It seems kind of like a mean little trick to me, why don't they just put (e.g. Fiji or St. Barts)?

8. I have done my procrastination for the evening, now it's back to studying. Oh, one more exciting piece of news, Molly is coming on Friday. I really only get to see her for a day, but I'm so excited! And I think we're going to have an adventure, I'm sure I'll blog about it!

O Christmas Tree

One of my very favorite things to do at Christmas time is to decorate the Christmas tree. I like putting up all the other Christmas decorations around the house too, but really I love looking through all the ornaments we’ve collected over the years. Every year my mom gives my brother and me each an ornament, I usually give someone in the family an ornament, and of course other friends and family etc give ornaments as well, so this makes for one giant tree filled with memories and meaning. I decided to take pictures of some of my favorite Christmas ornaments. :-)

 

I think my mom gave this Starbucks coffee cup to me our first year in Kaufman. I liked Starbucks at that time, but I had no idea how many hours I would spend in coffee shops over the next four years.

 

My dad teases my mom every Christmas because of her large quantity of snowman decorations. I should count the number of snowmen we have in our house…there are a lot. Last winter when I was studying abroad I found this snowman with shamrocks on it in a shop in Dublin. Funny how you can make anything Irish by painting a shamrock on it.

When I was four my grandma took my brother and me to Hallmark to pick out ornaments while we were on furlough in Texas. I picked out a crocodile wearing a scarf. I still think its one of the coolest ornaments on the tree. It’s a scarf wearing crocodile, AND when you twist his tail his mouth opens!

 

  

 

My parents love New Mexico, we’ve been there as a family a couple times. I think my mom bought this ornament in Taos the summer before my senior year of high school. If you have never been to New Mexico, you should go on a road trip, last New Years me and my friends drove all the way to New Mexico…basically just to play in the snow….best road trip ever!

 

We have a few very random ornaments, like this little puppy wearing a mask with antlers. His present says “from your secret pal.” Through the years we have also had barnie, barbie, startrek, leggo, coca cola ornaments, ornaments that say things like, “to my favorite granddaughter”, “best grandmother” and things of that nature. My grandma worked at Hallmark for a couple years and after Christmas they would just throw all the ornaments and christmas decorations in the dumpster, so she took boxes and boxes of Christmas decorations, hence all the random but some very cute ornaments.

 

 

 

We live in Texas, We are Texans. nuf said

 

These are two of my favorite ornaments, probably because they are from East Africa. I’m not sure who gave us the Africa ornament. I’m guessing it was one of the missionary wives in East Africa. There was a tradition that every year one missionary woman would give, often make ornaments for all the missionary kids. I got the star ornament when I was in Tanzania with the Giddens five years ago, oh how time flies!

 

Every year a couple from my parents Sunday school class give my parents an ornament from Neiman Marcus, this little shiny gold Chinese man is my favorite.

 

My parents first dog was an Airedale Terrier named Jake. I don’t remember Jake cause I was just a puppy when we had him. I found this Airedale ornament one summer and saved it for months and gave it to my mom.

 

 

Once again, we live in Texas. We are Texans. I think my mom gave these ornaments to us our second Christmas in Kaufman.

 

Just about this exact time last year I was in Bath, England, shopping at a little German Christmas market. They had so many beautiful ornaments and I got a few of these hand painted ones, I’m not sure where they are from, I’d like to imagine somewhere in Eastern Europe, but I don’t really know.

 

Last but not least, I gave this ornament to my Dad six or seven years ago. My dad loves to hunt and loves rustic things, so I knew he needed this ornament. I found it in an Ecuadorian department store, I think that’s another reason I like this ornament so much, A rustic zebra print chair with a deer head mounted on it does not seem very Ecuadorian.

Maria’s and Gloria’s

This post is dedicated to my roommate Dana, she told me to blog about Marias and Gloria’s, I think she wanted me to blog about Gloria’s, but sometimes she calls Gloria’s, Marias, so….you get both.

 

First: Marias

When I think of a non American, mostly third world kind of cookie, I think of a Maria biscuit. This is the cookie you can expect to get at any kind of tea time, as a snack at someone’s house, or at church.

“A María is a type of sweet biscuit similar to a Rich Tea biscuit.  The biscuit is round and has its name engraved into its top surface. While the Rich Tea biscuit is the most popular version of this biscuit in the United Kingdom, it is the Marie version that is most popular in most other countries, particularly Australia, India, South Africa, and Spain. Like the Rich Tea biscuit, many consider the Marie's plain flavor to make it particularly suitable for dunking in tea.”-Thanks Wikipedia :-)

Dana had never had Maria biscuits before. I randomly bought some at CVS this past week. I do not LOVE Maria biscuits, but  I was served them many a time as a child, and they are usually yummy. I bought them because I thought they were Marias with chocolate inside….they were not.  I guess that was just a suggested way to serve them….and I was tricked into buying them. But, anyway, I think Dana is a fan of the Maria biscuits, as am I, although now I’m trying to resist buying nutella so I can replicate the suggested way to serve the Maria biscuits.

THEN, Dana and I went to World Market, where they had Digestive Biscuits for sale, which are kind of like a Maria, but better, especially, when they are chocolate digestive biscuits. However the chocolate Digestives were all sold out, so I bought the plain ones, why? I don’t know, now I’ve been left with two packages of chocolateless biscuits.

 

Second: Gloria’s  

Gloria’s is a great restaurant in Addison, just about half a mile away from our apartment. Gloria’s is an El Salvadorian restaurant during the day, but at night they clear out the tables and turn it into a dance floor, with a live band, the place is always completely packed. I used to go to Gloria’s kind of frequently, but I hadn’t been in at least a year.

side note-I had a tiny realization on Saturday night, Dana and I usually decide we want to do something over the weekend, but we don’t usually make plans, which is where we were left on Saturday night, we had cabin fever and needed to get out of the house, next weekend if I want to do something maybe I’ll try to make plans before the night of.

But still I don’t know very many people in Dallas and Dana’s friends mostly had other plans. The two of us were about to go to the Gaylord Texas a giant hotel in Grapevine, just to hangout, see what we could see and find something to do, when Elizabeth saved the day and said she would to Gloria’s.  Not everyone wants to go to a salsa club, where almost all of the music is…surprise, salsa, merengue or reggaeton, but thankfully my amazing friends Dana and Elizabeth are up for just about anything. So we got all dressed up, drove down to uptown to hang out with some of Dana’s friends for awhile, and met up with Elizabeth and headed to Gloria’s. I was so excited. We danced for hours, I think we all danced with some good and not so good dancers, had a few awkward conversations, laughed and gave each other funny looks from across the dance floor, and left with sore feet. You never know who you’re going to dance with or what they may say to you, I never know if I should speak in Spanish or English or just not speak at all. Its a lot of fun though!