He knows what He's doing

Even when things aren’t going exactly how I think they should, I am always sure that there is a reason they are going the way they are and God will use them in the future.

Sometimes, times such as the past few weeks I start to forget that there is always a reason God does what he does. And even when I remember this is true, it doesn’t mean I always or even usually like it. It does seem to be true in my life, and I think in most, that when we experience the highest highs and lowest lows that we run to God, fall at the feet of the Lord in a way we do not tend to do on a daily basis, or at times we try to turn away from Him all together. I try to live daily with God, no matter what the current circumstances, but the past couple weeks I have gone back and forth between running to the Lord in need seeking his care and protection and then trying to run away from Him and my current struggles.

But this time, maybe because of being in situations similar to these in the past, maybe from grower a little wiser over the years, and also probably because of lack of other options, lack of places to run or people to run to, I have been forced to stick in there and wait it out, wait on the Lord, and what he has for me. This has been hard for me, and I have questioned my choice a few times of staying in Dallas for the next five months and likely for the next few years, instead of going overseas. After talking to my mom and friends, and praying and thinking about the jobs that I have had over the past three weeks, I decided to quit all of them and focus solely on finding something that I feel is better suited for me than retail, hopefully some kind of job that I will enjoy, and maybe that will pay a little better than retail.
So, on Thursday I set out to apply for jobs online and to hand in my resume at a couple places in Dallas. For some reason I find job searching online and writing cover letters and all of that to be very tiring and usually a lot of work with no results, and it has been made even more difficult because my laptop does not function as a laptop and usually just does not work at all, frustrating and inconvenient.

Last week after spending some time trying to use my computer, I was writing in my prayer journal, and asked the Lord to provide a laptop for me, I didn’t know how or by whom, but tried to have faith that God could and would provide for me. After finishing with my applications, resumes and cover letters for the day I was ready to go apply for several bilingual/ESL teaching assistant positions and schools in Dallas. I did not know if anything would come of it, but I was just praying for at least a phone call or an interview. My dad had texted me a little earlier in the day asking me to call him, so before I headed over to the school office I called him. He said he had been on the phone with my grandma and she was going to give me money to buy a computer! I was amazed and so thankful, God is good, His plan is perfect and He always takes care of His children.

I went on to the school office handed in the resumes and early the next morning got a phone call from the principal of one of the elementary schools, that is only a few miles away from my apartment. The elementary school my mom had been telling me about for at least the past week. The principal asked if I could come in for an interview that afternoon, which of course I did. She said she was a Baylor graduate as well, and a political science major, something that hopefully will work to my advantage. I thought the interview went well, and she said she’d be back in contact with me in a couple days. I don’t know if I’m going to end up getting the job or not, but either way, I know it will be ok, either way, it won’t be perfect, but God will take care of me and everything will work out.

An answered prayer in the form of a laptop was the perfect reminder that the Lord knows exactly what He is doing.